Home » The Missing Voice in the ‘Tradwife’ vs. ‘Have It All’ Debate: The Child’s

The Missing Voice in the ‘Tradwife’ vs. ‘Have It All’ Debate: The Child’s

by Erica Komisar (@EricaKomisarCSW)

Two very different portraits of modern conservative women appeared recently in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal. In one, a former “tradwife” influencer, Lauren Southern, recounts a harrowing personal tale of retreating from the online battlefield to the kitchen—only to find herself isolated, demeaned, and financially vulnerable. In the other, high-powered conservative mothers—White House staffers, governors, senators—offer a model of working motherhood so relentlessly busy it leaves little room for lingering over bedtime stories.

The message from both? Women’s choices about motherhood remain deeply politicized—and, as Maria Bauer pointed out yesterday, neither side is centering on the only voice that cannot speak for itself: the child’s.

Inmypractice,I’vespentdecadeslisteningtowhatchildrentellus—throughtheirbehavior,emotionalhealth,andresilience,aboutwhattheyneedmost.I’vewitnessedfirsthandintheadultsthatIseeinmypracticewhathappenswhenthoseneedsaren’tmet.Theresearchisclear:inthefirstthreeyearsoflife,childrenrequireconsi